A Little Bit of This, and a Little Bit of That

Harrods Rose tea (it's from Harrods, and it has lovely rose petals in it) in a square mug (i hate square mugs/cups...so hard to drink out of without spilling, but that might just be me). The mug is off-white/cream on the outside and the inside is black. My roommate has a set of 4.

I heart this tea.

I'm watching "Village on a Diet" right now. It's a fascinating program. To live in a community where the local government became so involved in encouraging and promoting a healthy lifestyle and then watching everyone's attitude toward weight loss and changing their lifestyle. I adore this show. FASCINATING. And the stories of some of the people ring oh so true to me. (Also, it was filmed in BC in the summer, and I love the summer part of it, a tiny bit of warmth in this cold abyss in which I live).

I like to think that if my community provided dieticians, trainers, motivations, doctors, and super chefs I'd be able to change my lifestyle. I like to think that, and I definately don't want to just sit around and wait. I've been trying to get outside and do stuff (despite the evil wrist injury). Tonight I bundled up and took the dog for a 40 minute walk.

I've also been drinking more water. I figure since I have nothing else to do all day, I may as well drink enough water. I've decided it works best with an ice cube in a tall cup and a straw (straws help the whole square cup thing).

This evening my roommate and I were just chatting and she was talking about how she does not own any lipstick, and I pointed out that I don't own ANY make-up at all. She was shocked. She wanted to know why. I don't really know why. I mean I do I suppose. I didn't grow up around it (my mom doesn't wear any). The friends in highschool kind of wore too much make up, and when they did my make up I always felt like I looked like a clown. Or a prostitute. Or some kind of strange combination of both. Obviously, I have now worn make up which is not at all slutty, but when I wear make up, I always feel way more noticeable. It freaks me out. I prefer my invisibility. Perhaps I'm putting too much power into make up, there's the whole part about confidence and personality. I'm feel like I don't have the confidence to pull off make up. I don't know. It's just a strange hang up I have. Sigh.

I am very excited for your visit! (And Morgan-if you read this- I really REALLY want to come visit you sometime as well).

I bought ski poles today. I'm being optimistic about my wrist healing, despite the fact that it is still SORE.

WHO STAYS UP ALL NIGHT READING A BOOK THEY HAVE READ TWICE BEFORE???
me. sigh.
Last night I stayed up until 4:30 finishing Harry Potter. I'll write the review for you soon.

Murphy's corner turning sounds good. IVes has turned some sort of corner too. She is still playful and bouncy, but she's more likely to chill out and let me pet her. She seems to be exiting the puppy phase and becoming a "grown up dog". Still crazy, but grown up, and still a sweetheart.

Living in the moment is challenging. I have no advice for that. I just wish you loads of luck. I think it is a good plan. We only get these moments once. I may end up being alone my entire life, but I'm only going to be 25 and single once. I have so many ideas and options and no clue what I really want to do.

Anyway, this posts photo is what I'm calling proof that I deserve to be a future church mom of North America. On Saturday I went grocery shopping with my roommate, got home and made supper to take over to the Watchorn's (Mary completely severed her achilles tendon last week...*SHUDDER*), had supper with Mary, then returned home and bakes 4 dozen muffins for Sunday morning, and then made the most delicious granola bars. The photo is proof of all the muffins (2 dozen banana chocolate chip and 2 dozen raspberry chocolate chip), the granola bars, and the cookbook shows the supper I made the Watchorn's. The bottle of Amaretto was for after...which probably makes me the best future church mom candidate I could be.

Anticipation

Mostly re-warmed coffee in a Starbucks 'Chicago' mug that my sister brought home to me from Chicago over the holidays.

Yesterday, while I was at work Kris planned out our summer vacation/belated honeymoon, and I am both excited and surprised at how much more affordable flights/hotels/rental cars are than we thought. We actually are going to do this! Ack! So EXCITED!!

And this has me thinking of anticipation. I have so been anticipating these days Kris has off, he's home now til the 14th, but now that it's here it's almost sad because I know it will end. With the joy of anticipation, there is almost a let down when the experience begins because the season of anticipation is over. Does that make sense? I love to anticipate things, I love the hope and joy and wonder of things not yet experienced, and once I'm in the moment I miss that spirit of anticipation. So, how do I carry that spirit over into the experience? Not to say I don't love and treasure the moments and gifts the experience holds, but I love anticipation. I loved being engaged. I love waiting for something great to happen. But, perhaps what I really love is the child like spirit that fills me as I anticipate. So maybe what I need to carryover is that spirit, I need to take more time to notice the details, to live in the moment, to 'get over myself' and live every second. This is a tall order for myself, but I want to be like that. I want to find the joy in every moment and experience and to know and accept that when one good thing ends, it opens the door for more good things to happen.

So as convoluted as that was, that's what I'm thinking about this morning :)

Your cast was icky, but I *LOVED* the purple!! And the splint is very go-go-gadget arm looking. I like this a lot.

Murphy seems to be turning a corner a bit lately, at first I thought he was regressing and now I realize it was one short step back before a couple big steps forward. He is getting the grasp of a few commands now with a lot of consistency. He doesn't pee or poo where he ought'n't. He is less hyper right out of his kennel and actually capable of just sitting on the couch beside you with a bone. It makes the hassle of the early stages worthwhile.

And now, onto the weekend. Last night we watched 127 Hours. Kinda gory, but basically awesome. And a crazy performance by James Franco, no wonder he was Oscar nominated! You should google 127 hours and read the story, it will probably ring a bell, but it's actually crazy.

I'm not sure what the rest of the weekend holds, which is kind of nice. We'll go with the flow. But my coffee is cold again and my hair is drying awkwardly so I'm off to go see if it's salvageable.

And now, for a picture that sums up my current anticipation: (WINNIPEG in March, Vegas and Disney in July and Chicago in November)

New Experiences

Peppermint tea (because I ate way too much for supper and my stomach is not impressed) in a dark blue glass mug.

*first I wanted to mention 2 things I've been meaning to say in response to your previous posts: did you get your shift key fixed? Cuz on my computer there is a little keyboard symbol on the bottom right and I just have to switch it back to an English version. and in regards to Murphy needing kennel time, I can't remember if I read this, or if I heard this, but I think dogs (full grown) need something like 13-16 hours of sleep per day, and puppies need more...so that's probably why he goes crazy...over-tiredness. *shrug*

This year has been filled with new experiences (and it's not even an entire month old!). I've had to see an ex, worn a cast, been to a walk-in-clinic, had to kind of save someone in the middle of the street, and gone skating on the Red River instead of the Assiniboine.

I know those new things are really no big deal, but there is one that is a big deal, and I know it's a total mood killer, but I just want to get it out there, and maybe somehow, putting it in cyberspace will get it further away from me.

On Monday I was babysitting B and she had a cold, and I still had my cast, and I felt so bad for the snotty-nosed, froggy voiced cutie pie that I missed a phone call...not that I would have answered it because I didn't recognize the number anyway...but I checked the voicemail and that voicemail told me that one of my coworkers (Heather) had been transferred from one of the smaller hospitals to a larger hospital and was going to be getting palliative radiation because her uterine cancer was out of remission and had spread into her lymph nodes.

I was terrified. I knew it would be best to go visit, but I had no idea how. I had no idea what to expect, what to say, or what to bring with me. It dawned on me that while I spend a lot of time at the bedsides of the dying it has always been in a professional capacity. I have never known any of those people. There are times when the story of a patient touches us.

The 35 year old man who died of cancer.
The 40 year old man who was on the ward for such a very long time while complication after complication tore at his body until he finally died.
The man who was so frustrating and demanding and yet when he unexpectedly died his family came in shocked grief and agreed to tissue donation.

These stories, and many more, have affected me, but none of them have actually prepared me for someone I know and interact with on a regular basis to be the one in the bed.

I found myself in Superstore, after leaving B to snuggle with her mom and watch Yo Gabba Gabba, almost in tears in the flower section trying to figure out what kind of flowers you buy for someone who is dying. Is purple too dark? Is yellow "the dying colour"? Daisy's? Roses? Carnations? Lilies? I mean, I wanna brighten up the room, but I don't want the flowers to be all "sorry you are dying. Eventually I picked some white flowers which I mixed with some bright yellow flowers, trusting that if I would love the flowers, then they'll be able to brighten the room.

In the end, the visit did not go as horribly as I feared. It was difficult to see her looking so much a shadow of herself. This woman is slightly terrifying, but she was very mild, and so quiet. Her voice so much softer than I was used to. She'd lost a lot of weight, and was so tired and pale. It was difficult to see, and I know it is only going to increase in difficulty.

It is my job to know that death is a part of living. That not everyone is cured, and that when someone dies it does not mean that we failed.

Blech. I can't think about this anymore. In other news, I took a picture or 2 of my cast for you, so you could see it, and see the grunge, and then I took a picture of my replacement splint/brace so you can admire how way better it is (minus the rock solid security that nothing was going to hurt my wrist). I shall attempt to have them upload and appear in the space below!

Apple Juice. In a bottle. Cuz I`m cool like that.

I was going to make tea, and then I realized the tea I wanted was at work and then I was sad. So I am having apple juice because that does not make me sad.

HI MORGAN! Thanks for following us, and your listing of what you`re drinking makes me super duper happy :)

I legitimately don`t know what to blog about tonight, I know that makes me so lame. Maybe it`s just how tired I am, I choose to blame that :p

Kris comes home on Thursday and he doesn`t go aaway again until Feb 14! I`m so excited, it`s just ridiculous. I can`t WAIT! And with a Winnipeg trip upcoming too, I seriously am so excited for the Winnipeg adventures that will be had. I have books to bring you too! Hurrah!!

So the crazy book I was telling you about is called Room by Emma Donoghue, it`s written from the perspective of a 5 year old boy who has been raised in a small shed by his mother who was kidnapped as a teenager. It`s incredible. Tragic, uplifting and an emotional rollercoaster. I have it in ereader format, I wonder if I can send it to you and you could read it on your blackberry or online or something...

My shift button is messed. Murphy hopped across the keyboard, darn dog. And I don`t remember how to fix it. I`ll have to google it. This blog is sooo stream of concious it`s silly! Jeez louise.

I would like to see a picture of your icky cast with the next post :p

I have a sad admission to make, I`m addicted to Teen Mom. It happened over Christmas break, it`s my trashy, exploiting tv show of the season. Terrible. But there`s this couple on there I just love, I`d watch the show just for them. I switch it when the crazy/sad girls segment comes on. Sigh. I`m addicted though, most certainly.

On Friday I babysat Ruby while Cali took Bella in to get shots, we had the best time playing outside in the snow with the dogs! The following picture is from that joy. I actually had a pretty great weekend, and the ones coming up are going to continue to get better! Yay! 3 with Kris home, then 1 lame weekend, then Manitoba! Woooohooooo!!!!!

Okay. So that`s my blog of random. I love you! And I`m coming to see you March 3rd!!!

The Icing on the Arm

Harrod's Earl Grey in a black mug with WICKED written in giant silver letters and a little green witch flying on a broom silouhette on it (I got it from the theatre in London as one of my Wicked souvenirs...yes, there were more than one souvenirs from Wicked).

**This photo has been added belatedly because I forgot the photo rule, but it is a random photo of the theatre in London where I got the mug**
I went skating on Sunday. It was great. Except I fell. There was a gouge in the ice and my skate caught in it, and there was just no recovering so I found myself on my face on the ice. I knew I had a sore hip coming. In the morning, I woke up and had a sore wrist on top of the sore hip.

Then I took Ives out for her morning walk and slipped on some ice and landed full on my wrist. Right on, eh? Two falls in two days. So needless to say I'm 99% certain my wrist is sprained, and 1% certain (in my imagination) that I have a broken wrist (but this imagined story goes along with a good old Grey's Anatomy adventure...).

In other news, 25 hasn't been so bad, I got new ski's today, and went skiing with Amanda which was a lot of fun. I <3>

Through The Grapevine, a white tea from David's Tea. In a beautiful purple, gold and pink china tea cup.

So, I failed badly the last few weeks. Why am I so terribly inconsistent? I don't know the answer, but if I did, many things would be quite different in my life :p

I'm working on my 101 in 1001 list, and it's taking forever. 101 things is and isn't that big of a list, but when it's short-ish term goals that are realistic-ish to achieve, it seems quite overwhleming. I'm at about 80 and I have a feeling they're going to start getting a little lame.

Vacation in BC was wonderful, I enjoyed the time more than anything. Being on our own schedule, no demands of us, it was remarkable, and made me realize that we did miss out by not going on a honeymoon. But, such is life. We're hoping to take a holiday for our one year anniversary, and even if that's 6 months away, I'm very much looking forward to it! Kris has never been to Disneyland, and I'm really hoping to get him there!!

How ridiculous is it that the highlight of my Christmas was the incredibly soft blanket and zebra print snuggie? But I adore them, adore. All this time I spent alone is MUCH better when tea, Murph and cuddly things are involved. Next step, a better couch! Speaking of Murph, he's mostly super good, he's fully indoor potty trained now, which hopefully will lead well into outdoor training too. I'm definitely learning he needs his downtime during the day though, even if I'm home all day he needs his kennel time, otherwise he gets crazy!! Poor little guy, it probably overstimulates him when he's used to being kenneled most days and then I come home and he's out all day!

And for today's pictures, I thought I'd snap a shot of the tea today, because I expected it to be purple, and it's very 'tea' colored! But, for some reason, they won't upload, so instead please enjoy this photo from their website of what it looks like as a loose leaf tea: